Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
