so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
