Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
