I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
only if we run a train.
done.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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