I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
