my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
