i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
