Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
