But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
