What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm jealous of your bromance
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
third nipple confirmed
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
