Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
