I want to have your abortion
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
