You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
