Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
