I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
