Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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