He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
