Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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