Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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