Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
God, I missed his penis.
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