tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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