you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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