as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
