Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
