I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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