Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I am one with the molecules
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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