I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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