I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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