I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize