Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
