And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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