Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
