Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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