If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
