IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize