I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
