I want to walk on stilts...naked
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
