I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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