I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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