Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
