The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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