I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
