I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
