he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
