he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We need to get me chipped asap
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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