Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just gargled with NyQuil
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
