the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
