Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
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