the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I think i peed on brittanys purse
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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