I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Dick very happy bro
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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