you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
