I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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