he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
