I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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