oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
