Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Buhtt sex?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
