what day is it and did you see me today?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
