I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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