My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize