bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
