Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
