Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize