I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize