Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Randomize
