Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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