That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Houston, we have a squirter
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
