Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
